How to Quit Quitting
I chose my undergraduate university because it was known for good food and fun. I had lots of both. 🤣 But I didn’t declare a major until my third year. Clearly, I was NOT striving for anything in particular. I have the 2.3 GPA to prove it. But later in life I went back to business school and earned a 3.75.
What changed?
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life as an undergraduate, so I had no interest in most of my classes. You could argue that I “quietly quit” by doing the bare minimum to get good enough grades. Learning was an afterthought. By contrast, I knew WHY I went to business school. I was there to learn something. Grades were an afterthought.
That’s The Power of Why.
As we defined in What Exactly is “The Joy of Striving”?, striving is the act of trying hard to achieve something, often involving overcoming obstacles or facing challenges head-on. We don’t do the hard thing because we love the pain. That would be ridiculous. We do it because we have a Why that’s pulling us forward.
Research shows that the lack of a meaningful purpose causes many people to quit, especially when facing obstacles. A clear sense of purpose significantly boosts motivation, engagement, and resilience. The bigger question in my mind is:
Why do so many people quit when they know their Why?
More than half of us make a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight. Two weeks into January, 80% are still on track. Four weeks later, 80% have quit. Why? To be fair, everyone’s genetic ability to lose weight is different, but that doesn’t explain why 80% quit so soon.
Decision Fatigue is Real
You will never lose weight if you have to decide 12 times a day, every day to NOT eat those cookies. Eventually, you’re going to make the wrong decision — the decision that moves you further away from your goal. And then you’ll quit trying.
Structure your environment (e.g. hide the cookies), automate your actions (i.e. habits), and automate trivial decisions (e.g. eat the same healthy breakfast and lunch every workday) to preserve your mental energy for what matters most.
Collect the data you need to make an informed decision and then decide, ONCE. Make the best decision you can with the limited information you have at the time and then stop deciding. Second guessing paralyzes you. There is no perfect decision. You’re going to make mistakes. After you decide, it’s time to execute. Take action and keep going until you get there. Or until you get new information that changes your decision.
Clear priorities (e.g. vision, mission, strategy) create guardrails and focus. Too many choices (e.g. which task is more urgent and/or important, which new squirrel to chase) can cause entrepreneurial leaders and employees alike to be less productive, make more mistakes, and feel less motivated.
It’s easier to say No when there’s a bigger Yes behind it.
How Do You Eat an Elephant?
I struggled with my weight until I was 25 — when I reached 255 pounds for the second time. That’s also when I decided to live 100 healthy years. That became the Why behind my healthy habits. Our Why shapes our mindset which largely influences our thoughts. Thoughts drive our decisions — and our goals — which ideally determine our actions. That’s why we Start With Why.
WHY ➤ MINDSET ➤ THOUGHTS ➤ DECISIONS ➤ ACTIONS
I now run Spartan races and race my gravel bike up and down mountains. Both are hard, but I’m not trying to win. The only person I’m competing with is myself. After all, I’m 60 years old! My only goal is to keep beating my best for as long as I can.
These races, in and of themselves, won’t get me to 100, but each one gives me a short-term, bite-sized 🐘 objective that moves me closer to my Why. The races bring my lofty Why down to earth where I can wrap my brain around the next milestone on my journey. The races give me a concrete reason to keep exercising.
Endurance is a Mental Game
Physical endurance activities build capillaries and mitochondrial density to make you stronger and faster next time you’re being chased by a lion. In a similar way, putting in the “reps” — both physical and mental — also helps build the perseverance and willpower you’ll need for your next difficult challenge.
👉 Building a business requires mental endurance. Don’t waste your time, energy, and money if you don’t have enough “grit” to survive the dangerous journey.
Grit, as defined by Angela Duckworth, is a personality trait that combines your perseverance with passion — the ability to stick with things that are important to you and keep going when it gets physically or mentally demanding.
With grit, temporary discomfort becomes just another challenge to conquer rather than a reason to quit. There’s going to be pain either way — for a minute now (i.e. investment) or suffering for years later (i.e. consequences). You probably know people who didn’t save enough for retirement or didn’t take care of their health when they were younger. Don’t let that be you. Do the hard thing now.
Consistently Underachieve
After you figure out your Why, the “secret” to getting gritty is consistency. After 15 years of being a couch potato, I decided to start running. The first day, I started with one minute. The second day, I ran two minutes. Third day, three minutes, etc. until I was running six miles at time.
Your brain needs to see that you’re making progress. Right-sized rewards when you reach a milestone make this process even more effective. With each small win, your brain releases dopamine that prompts you to seek out that feeling again. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Over time, this process literally rewires your brain to seek out the behaviors that led to all those wins. Dopamine even starts responding to the anticipation of a reward, which drives you to take the next action.
Other tactics to help you keep going when you want to quit:
Develop a Growth Mindset — believe you can improve your abilities through effort and learning
Be a Realistic Optimist — replace negative, pessimistic self-talk with positive and encouraging statements that can be true if you put in the effort
If you think you can or think you can’t — either way you’re right.
Build Better Habits — automate perseverance instead relying on motivation
Be Kind to Yourself — treat yourself as well as you would treat your best friend in the same situation
When you fall down, get up! Setbacks are learning opportunities — not failures — unless you quit. Reflect on what went wrong, adjust your approach, and keep moving forward. Unless you’re a competitive athlete, everything is a marathon. There’s no rush as long as you keep moving toward your goals, consistently.
The more you do the hard thing, the easier it gets to do everything.
The more you quit, the easier it gets to quit.
The Joy of Striving is brought to you by Scaling Profit, where my core purpose is to help you build a Sustainable 7 figure business. Check it out if you’re curious.
